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Victoria reportedly paused. She looked at the Mega Noodle. She looked at the camera. Then she sat on it.

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Not aggressively. Not quickly. Just a slow, deliberate, gravitational descent. The Mega Noodle compressed into a two-dimensional foam pancake. The Pool Noodler was launched out of the pool like a bar of soap squeezed from a fist. He landed in a kiddie pool three houses down. Victoria reportedly paused